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My Vuelta wishlist (of varying feasability)
I admit that last year was the only Vuelta I've yet followed as it unfolded (my active following of the sport is limited to the 23 Tour and the period from halfway through the 24 Giro to present), but it's my favorite of the grand tours. It's the Week 3 of the year, if you will: people are both tired and wired after a long season; riders and teams may want to make up for an otherwise anonymous year; there's a pervasive serotinal mood to fit the season, a Friday afternoon or spring semester senior year energy; unexpected crazy shit is liable to happen, from a domestique getting his day in a wily breakaway raid to a stage depart from a Carrefour. It's a race with sunglasses and a Hawaiian shirt on. Maybe its historical status as the youngest and least prestigious GT helps it take itself less seriously. In any case, here are my wishes for the 2025 Vuelta a España, ranked roughly in order of descending likelihood.
- Jonas wins GC by at least 7 minutes
- Jonas stunts on everyone on the Angliru
- General morale-crushing domination by my lil yellow boys
- Romo and/or Castrillo stage win
- Pidcock finally accepts his True Nature as a punchy breakaway merchant
- One more finish from Landa in the traditional Landa Position of GC (3rd-8th)
- Traditional UAE \{setminus} Pog antics
- Soler doing Soler things
- A couple good days for the EF squad, who can best be described vibes-wise as "local magnet school's eighth-grade boys' delegation, with their two adult chaperones"
- A return of the stone-cold killer version of Egan Bernal we saw briefly and gloriously at Jaén
- Tiberi does not prosper
- Some manner of wacky bullshit at the TTT
- At least one of the Aussies delivers us another Jai Hindley "we're not here to fuck spiders" esoteric and profane Australianism
- Nobody gets badly hurt
- Rogla astral projects into the Vuelta
- Proverbial boys with the time machine save the Wout of last year's Vuelta from that heartbreaking, knee-obliterating, Vuelta-ending crash. He takes both points and KOM jerseys all the way to Madrid.
- I just want to hear Sean Kelly's voice one more time, TNT and Eurosport >:'(